Despite the fact that I work in the children's educational entertainment industry, apparently I AM the Smut Master.
I am seemingly oblivious to the demands of inviting my friends and family over with their kids in tow. My apartment is already a bit on the uneasy side for most parents, as there are a fair amount of boobs and cocks on display in my abode, with my Italian and Greek sculptures and my nudie Waterhouse print.
My kid-oblivious nature was only magnified on a recent Christmas visit when Meanie spotted a completely un-family-friendly collage made by my good pal Sir Heinrich, consisting of hooker cards from Vegas sporting ample boobies and crotch. Fortunately, she hid it behind the legitimate, God-Loving Christmas cards before her two boys saw it.
I also enjoy putting in movies whilst I entertain. I have a sizable collection of art films that feature cool imagery, and I like to play them in the background (which I mute and re-score with music from my i-pod playing over it.) Sounds awesome, right? Works great with my adult friends. However, I am constantly forgetting that there are frequent, fleeting nude scenes in them. More than once I've dived for the remote as I realize there's a set of Independent Cinema Art House Knockers about to pop on the screen in full view of the children. God, save the children!!!
I'm also frequently playing my i-mixes and forgetting which tracks feature a more colorful commentary. "Uh, Marco..." I heard a concerned mom start once, only to realize Fatboy Slim or M.I.A. was dropping the F-Bomb over and over again right in front of her 10 year old child.
I'm surprised they ever want to come over to my dirty, dirty home. Sigh.
Wait, WHAT do I do for a living again?