The Rat Who Saw God

2012-01-21T11:11:00.001-06:00

BEAR PROM

What an absolutely flawless night. And I made the paper! Heh-heh!

Click here for the rest of the Dallas Voice photos from the dance.

"Put up your dukes, Toddy! Put 'em up and WEEEEEERK!!!"

2012-01-06T11:11:00.003-06:00

ASSAULT!

Now is usually time time I start missing the warmer weather. The photo below was taken in the spring of last year at Jack's Backyard Bar in Oak Cliff. The waitress totally photobombed the shot we were attempting to take, molesting my poor moobs.

That bar is closed now. Wish it weren't. Wish it was back open. And that my feet were naked, a cool glass of vodka was in hand, and I was breathing the warm sweet air.

2012-01-01T11:11:00.004-06:00

SONG LYRIC WRITTEN ABOUT ME

For more Blue Redder, click here.

2011-12-25T00:00:00.002-06:00

HUSH

We all have Christmas Traditions, right? This one is mine: every Christmas Eve I go outside by myself, usually past midnight, and just... listen. I listen to the silence. I feel that vibe of quiet, of silence so loud it's deafening. Even here in the heart of the city, for whatever reasons people have, they sequester, hole up, keep still. And it's the quietest night of the whole year.

For that one moment, I face myself. I look at my place in this universe and take stock. Acknowledge. Assess.

Soon my warm home calls, usually some ten minutes later.

So I turn and go back inside, so that I may sleep with the rest of the city.

2011-12-20T11:11:00.000-06:00

BIRTHDAY GIFT, PART TWO

Well, Dean delivered again. Yay me! For this year's 41st Birthday, he decided to do his own tribute to this photo:

And here's his:

Can you say Le Swoon? No? Fine, then I shall say it for you.

LE SWOOOOOOOON!!!

2011-12-15T00:00:00.005-06:00

BIRTHDAY SUIT!

Well, almost.

This is my friend Dean:

I met him on the photo sharing site, Flickr.

He lives in London. He sent the photo above to my on my birthday in 2010, which was indeed a total and delightful surprise. We are both interested in photography, and were trying to come up with ways we could work on a project together despite the miles. I know he's a fan of brightly colored and designed socks, so my original pitch to him was to maybe have us take homage photos of each other wearing the exact same pair of socks. Dean wound up surprising me on my birthday with this photo, and challeging me to take a similar photo in turn. Thus, The Flickr Socks Only Challenge was born.

He took it a step further with this photo:

And, in turn, I uploaded these:

Kinda naughty, I know. But I had an absolute blast taking them. Through, frankly, they are only slightly more revealing than a speedo by the pool would be.

Anyway, it made for a memorable birthday. And some major fond memories.

Happy Birthday to me!

2011-12-08T11:11:00.001-06:00

MOVES

When theater folk see sudden moves, they think it's the Sharks vs Jets opening dance from West Side Story. It confuses them. And then it brings musical theater where none was wanted or needed. And no one likes that.

2011-11-23T11:11:00.003-06:00

THANKSGIVING NOSTALGIA

Anyone else out there remember these awesome icky things by Brach's?

2011-11-17T11:11:00.000-06:00

ASPIRATIONS

When I was but a wee lad, I wanted to be the Dairy Queen ice cream man when I grew up. (You know, the person behind the counter who dispensed the soft serve and dipped the cones in chocolate? I soooo wanted to be that guy!)

I also wanted to be Santa Claus.

Hmmm. I wonder where I can get an application?

2011-11-11T11:11:00.003-06:00

PHOTOS

Here is some great photography by James Webster at Webjam Studios.

http://webjamstudio.smugmug.com/Portraits/Marco/

We spent last Saturday afternoon playing in the park and I had an absolute a blast shooting these with him. Such wonderful work! Thanks James!!!

2011-11-03T11:11:00.005-05:00

I LIKE CONVERSING: LONG DISTANCE PHONE CALL

ME: Well, there is something I've been meaning to tell you...

CHARLIE: Really?

ME: Yes. And, um. I've actually been kinda nervous bringing it up.

CHARLIE: What is it?

ME: (Pause) I'm the Goatse Guy.

CHARLIE: (Pause) Goodbye, Marco.

Click.

2011-10-25T11:11:00.001-05:00

OLD HALLOWS EVE

2011-10-21T11:11:00.005-05:00

8 COOL HORROR FILMS YOU MAY HAVE NEVER SEEN

I am always on the hunt for truly different and unusual horror films. I tend to prize mind fuck over gore, ideas over execution, and the whole less-is-more approach to these kinds of movies. I don't mind "old", black and white or subtitles either. Bearing that in mind, here are my picks for 2011.

A TALE OF TWO SISTERS (2004)

Based on an old Korean folk story about an evil stepmother, writer and director Ji-Woon Kim takes a decidedly modern approach in his adaptation of this dark tale. Two young sisters, Su-Mi (Im Su-jeong) and Su-yeon (Mun Geun yeong) are returning to their home after being hospitalized the wake of their mother's recent death. They find their father distant and despondent and, worse, a new stepmother (Yeom Jeong-ah, who is superb) who makes it clear she will not tolerate much of anything from these girls. But there are dark secrets within this house, which has a terrible affect on anyone who enters it.

A Tale of Two Sisters veers from horror to thriller to mystery, in a fairly non-linear way. All of the puzzle pieces are there, but you have to do a little bit of work to see how they all fit. Terrific performances and an organic approach to the material keep you watching, even if you sometimes find yourself confused by where the story is going.

This is a movie that demands, and subsequently awards, you for paying attention. It's certainly not the most frightening this on this list, but compelling and eerie enough to recommend.

ALICE, SWEET ALICE (1977)

Alice (Paula E Sheppard, utterly cold and convincing) has serious jealousy issues concerning her younger, more accomplished and accepted sister, Karen. After Karen (played by an 11 year old Brooke Shields) winds up dead in church (yep, in church) on the day of her first communion, suspicion naturally falls on Alice.

Co-Writer and Director by Alfred Sole had a tough time with this film's theatrical distribution; releasing it three different times under three different titles, with the film ultimately falling into public domain sometime in the 80's. This DVD release is the director-approved version, and it looks terrific in all of its early 60's New Jersey muted tones.

Nicolas Roeg's Don't Look Now seems to have had a huge influence on this production, with its odd, stylized performances and heightened, Grand Guignol vibe. Catholicism is definitely most creepy here, and Sole casts a cold, stark eye on the story's religious backdrop, giving the whole Godless proceedings a sad, unemotional and deeply unsettling pall. And the murders, though few, are often brutal and shocking. It's not a flawless film, however; things sag along the middle section, and a little over halfway though you almost feel as if the film shifts and becomes another movie all together.

But, ultimately, Alice, Sweet Alice is a nasty, stylized little psychological thriller, and it a cut above many of its slasher sisters from the era.

DEAD END (2003)

A twisted, funny and corrosive horror movie about family, Dead End movie opens with the familiar scenario of a family driving (and bickering) to a relative's house on Christmas Eve. The father, Frank (Ray Wise), decides to part way with tradition and takes a shortcut off the highway via a small, densely wooded road. After nodding off and narrowly avoiding a fatal collision, the family encounters what appears to be an injured young woman holding a baby. After another round of arguing about the next course of action, they decide to give her a lift to the nearest home for help.

Soon, the mysterious young woman has vanished, the first member of the family is killed, and a mysterious black car appears out of nowhere. Unable to cope, the family launches itself yet again at each other's throats in that all too realistic fashion. Unable to find an exit off this dreaded, endless road, they struggle to find a way out.

What's remarkable about this film is how deftly is veers from horror to comedy to satire to drama and back again. When faced with the harsh reality of being trapped in a seemingly never-ending nightmare, the characters quickly begin airing grievances and past injustices. Some band together, others fend for themselves. Dead Alive is, at it's heart, a film about a family who's been together too long. You will laugh, then cringe at the gore, then wince at the drama, then laugh at the gore, cringe at the laughter and most definitely find yourself dreading that next Christmas family gathering.

The rest of the stellar cast includes Lin Shayne as Laura the mother, Alexandria Holden as daughter Marion, Mick Cain as teen son Richard, and Brad Miller as Billy, Marion's boyfriend. Written and Directed by Jean-Baptiste Andrea and Fabrice Canepa. Available on Netflix streaming.

HARPER'S ISLAND (Season 1, 2009)

This nifty television series was yanked off the air before it could finish airing its first 13-episode season. A kicky fusion of an Agatha Christie mystery coupled with a slasher, this hybrid (unlike a lot of single season television) has a definite beginning, middle, and satisfying end, which makes for a perfect October series to get invested in.

The tale begins seven years after a string of murders has taken place of Harper's Island, with a young woman named Abby (Elaine Cassidy) returning to her hometown to lend support to her best friend, Henry (Christopher Gorham), and his marriage into the town's wealthiest family. The journey home is particularly painful to Abby, as she has not spoken to her father, the town sheriff, since her departure from the island after killer murdered her mother, among many others.

As you might have guessed, the murders start anew soon after the wedding celebration is underway. At first, the missing guests are all too easily perceived as unexpectedly gone home, since the murderer cleverly eliminates all of their belongings after each kill. Soon, things start to look suspicious... then the shit really hits the fan.

A high body count whodunit that's surprisingly graphic for a prime time series, Harper's Island is equal parts mystery, slasher and survivalist thriller. It's too bad the series never got a chance to air in its entirety when it debuted, as it was cancelled after three episodes. Satisfying from start to finish, this 13 hour adventure is a perfect mini-investment for any time of year. Created by Ari Schlossberg. Available on Netflix streaming.

PHONE (2002)

Equal parts ghost story, murder mystery, love story, possession tale, who and whydunnit, this South Korean horror hybrid has something to offer for everyone.

Ambitious journalist Ji-won (Ji-Won Ha) is afraid for her life after her expose of an underage sex scandal involving a group of men on trial. Her editor suggests she lay low until the men can be convicted, so she moves into a vacant house owned her sister, Ho-jeong (Yu-mi Kim). After receiving threatening phone calls regarding the trial, she further attempts her efforts to hide by purchasing new cell phone with an unregistered number.

Soon, Ji-won is receiving mysterious phone calls on this new phone, one of which is receipted by her sister's little girl, Yeong-ju (Seo-woo Eun). The child's behavior immediately changes, seemingly and permanently altered by that phone call.

Suspicious about the nature of her new phone, Ji-won discovers that the previous owners of her particular cell number have died. Upon further investigation, she discovers the mystery is a lot closer to her than she could have ever realized.

Scary and thrilling and very well written, Phone should satisfy on many levels. It's been a long time since I sat though a movie that twisted so many times, and yet each twist is completely organic to the story at hand. Deftly written and directed by Byeong-ki Ahn, this is one helluva ride. Subtitled.

THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE (1946)

Quite possibly the earliest entry in the slasher genre, The Spiral Staircase is full surprising nods to what would eventually become horror staples: point of view shots of the killer, burst of lightning that reveal the murder in silhouette, and close ups of the killer's eye as he looks onto his latest soon-to-be victim.

Set in the early 1900's, New England, someone is killing young girls with certain handicaps and "afflictions". This does not bode well for the mute servant girl, Helen (Dorothy McGuire) who works at an old mansion for a bedridden old woman, Mrs. Warren (Ethel Barrymore, Oscar nominated for her performance.) Warren lives in this mansion with her two sons, Professor Albert (George Brent) and Womanizer Stephen (Gordon Oliver).

When it becomes apparent that this rash of killings is getting closer and closer to the mansion, Warren begs her physician, Dr. Parry (Kent Smith), to remove Helen from the house for her own safety. Indeed, Warren seems to know something that she is hesitant to divulge. Soon, the murders come to the castle. Unable to cry, scream or even phone for help, The Spiral Staircase leads to inevitable showdown between Helen and the killer.

This is one of those glorious, black and white, thunderstorm and rain, candle and shadow kind of Gothic noir horror affairs. Even though it's doubtful that a modern audience would find much of the film actually frightening, it's a tense, showy gem of a Halloween offering, perfect for those savoring something elegant and heightened and tense. Directed by Robert Siodmak. Written by Mel Dinelli, based on the novel by Ethel Lina White.

BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)

Horror aficionados will undoubtedly snicker that I am putting Black Christmas on this list, but I'm too often surprised by how many horror fans have never seen it. A film that came out four years before John Carpenter's Halloween, this holiday horror classic is most certainly the godfather of the slasher movie.

On Christmas Eve, the girls of Pi Kappa Sigma begin receiving mysterious phone calls by a man who identifies himself as "Billy". When one of the girls vanishes, they soon begin taking the calls more seriously. Snowed in and at each other's throats, suspicion and speculation begins to unravel the girls as they suspect this "Billy" might be someone they know.

One of the many things that work in Roy Moore's nicely wound screenplay is the rushed holiday setting. With several characters planning to leave the sorority house for Christmas vacation, the chaos of rushed departures make for entirely plausible, nonplussed reasoning among the remaining characters when people initially go missing. The Christmas setting also acts as an effective diversion overall, much in the same way the holiday setting allowed Michael Myers to move about freely in Halloween.

Equal parts mood and violence, Black Christmas derives a lot of its power from aesthetic choices that other slasher films would later take their cues from, including the now mandatory point of view shots from the killer's perspective, odd objects as murder weapons, and the aforementioned phone calls.

Olivia Hussey, Margot Kidder, Andrea Martin and John Saxton round out the ensemble of Bob Clark's second notable entry in the Christmas movie genre (he also directed the perennial favorite A Christmas Story.) Frequently quiet like the hush of snow, then punctuated with sudden loud bursts of violence, this truly unsettling film will keep you up at night.

THE BABY'S ROOM (La Habitación Del Niño, 2006)

New parents Juan (Javier Gutiérrez) and Sonia (Leonor Watling) have just moved to a historic old house in Spain, where the home is in dire need of much renovation and repair. That night, both parents are alarmed when they hear voices coming through their donated, aging baby monitor. Racing to their baby's room, they find nothing amiss.

Deciding that the old monitor is picking up crossed signals from around the neighborhood, Juan buys a state of the art baby monitor complete with video feed. That night Juan hears the voices coming through the monitor again, and goes white when he turns and sees the figure of a man standing next to his baby's crib on the video screen.

Despite an extensive search, the police are unable to find anything or any signs of forced entry. Sonia, only ever having heard the initial voices on the monitor, becomes worried that her husband might be cracking up. Juan, to the detriment of his wife and co-workers, becomes obsessed with the house and discovering the source of its mysterious nature.

A horror movie about a father's fear of his inability to protect his family, The Baby's Room has a nice, slow, dreadful burn that will truly give you the willies. Even better, the movie plays to a beautiful gray area within the characters, and you'll find yourself siding with all of them as they struggle.

Great performances all around, and directed with a taunt grip by Álex de la Iglesia, this Gothic Spanish ghost story will have you gripped from beginning to end. Highly recommended. Subtitled. Available on Netflix streaming.

________________

That's my picks! Hope you check out at least one of these movies this year. (Beats sitting though Saw XXI, right?)

My 2010 horror movie recommendations are here.

My 2009 horror movie recommendations are here.

My 2008 horror movie recommendations are here.

2011-10-19T11:11:00.000-05:00

KOOKY SPOOKS!

Anyone out there remember these things from 1979?

2011-10-16T11:11:00.004-05:00

HALLOWEEN NIGHTMARE, PART TWO

Do you guys ever have that dream where Elmo slides up next to you at a bar and squeels, "Let's get sexy!!!" Then thirty minutes later you wake up in a cold sweat and realize you've jizzed yourself?

Yeah, I've never had that nightmare either.

2011-10-13T11:11:00.001-05:00

AN OLD HALLOWEEN MOLD LANTERN FROM MY CHILDHOOD

2011-10-08T11:11:00.002-05:00

HALLOWEEN NIGHTMARE, PART THREE

I Just woke up from that nightmare where I fall into that huge vat at the butter factory, then Paula Deen rushes at me gnashing her preternaturally white teeth and shrieking "Me want food!" in her equally preternatural southern accent.

Man, I HATE it when I have that dream.

2011-10-01T11:11:00.003-05:00

HALLOWEEN OREOS

It has begun again. This time in nipple form. Hmmm... Oreo-pple?

2011-09-28T11:11:00.006-05:00

RAPIER FIGHT

Since I am the director of this particular production, I found that videotaping myself in rehearsal was the best way to direct my own performance. The following in a composite of several different days of rehearsing this particular rapier fight, and I thought it would be a kick to see how fluid I could make editing all of the recorded fights into one. Since we were still in rehearsal, these lines from Hamlet are a little, shall we say, paraphrased?

Lamentably, this was the year I tore the meniscus in my knee doing the show's sword play. The culprit, ironically enough? Shoes. Seriously. After all of my barefoot fight calls, too. Cheap fucking shoes that had little tread marred my knee during the actual performance. Totally my own damn fault.

Oh well.

2011-09-18T22:34:00.006-05:00

GIMMIE PIZZA

Get home late from work. Decide to make pizza for dinner. After preheating the oven and some ingredient prep, I discover that the crust I was planning to use is moldy. Cursing, I head to the store for another crust. 40 minutes later it's finally cooked, and in my attempt to slide it off the oven rack, damn pizza goes careening to the floor.

Pissed as hell and hand now burnt, I decide the pizza is hot enough to remain sterile. So I slop the toppings back on the crust and eat the bitch anyway.

2011-09-12T11:11:00.006-05:00

JUMPING IN THE PARK WITH CHARLIE

I took these on Charlie's last day in Dallas. I love them. It definitely personifies us and our unique friendship. I love this sweet lad. So, so much.

2011-09-01T11:11:00.005-05:00

POPULAR

Someone stole this photo off of my Flickr, and it took off pretty big on the various bear Tumblr blogs. I'm flattered, but I have to admit I think the photo makes me look way more built and lumbering than I really am. But I'm definitely flattered. 'Cause I am so vain. So very, very, VERY vain.

2011-08-26T21:26:00.002-05:00

FAREWELL FOR NOW

My best friend moved away tonight. In the time he was here, he changed my life, gave me confidence and made me a better man. I know our friendship will endure the miles, but I lament the loss of my daily touchstone and confidant. I love him, owe him and am missing him so much I ache. Despite all of that, I am so happy for him and his new adventure. Bon Voyage, my sweet Charlie Himmler. I am so excited for you! And thanks to the internet, I can be with you every step of the way. Love. Forever.

2011-08-15T11:11:00.005-05:00

WET BEARS

For me, the summer of 2011 will always mean one thing... pool parties, hairy backs and big bellies. Fuck yeah bear pool parties!

2011-08-08T11:11:00.008-05:00

SHE'S BACK

She came from Afghanistan! Then she left again.

She came back after a year! Safe and sound. Huge gratitude. Then she went. Then came and went. And then she came and went once again. One of these days I'm gonna be good enough to keep that good woman around.

2011-08-03T11:11:00.012-05:00

I LIKE CONVERSING: FRIDAY NIGHT

ME: I'm kind of hungry, but what do you want to do?

CHARLIE: I'm in the mood for Mexican. (Looks at me.) Not you.

2011-07-27T11:11:00.002-05:00

"I like darkness and confusion and absurdity, but I like to know that there could be a little door that you could go out into a safe life area of happiness.

"In film, life-and-death struggles make you sit up, lean forward a little bit. They amplify things happening, in smaller ways, in all of us. These things show up in relationships. They show up in struggles and bring them to a critical point.

I don't know where to break this thing. Are we in the business of falling in love with stories? What if every movie had to have a positive message at the end? If we only put out pleasant films, nothing would really stop, except that people would stop going to the movies."

~DAVID LYNCH

2011-07-13T11:11:00.006-05:00

A TEMPEST

Done. Happy. And Proud. Thanks SO much to the brilliant cast of The Tempest, including Doug Burks, Catherine D. DuBord, Julie Osborne Watts, Nick Caldwell, Christopher Curtis, David Goodwin, Laura Berrios, Brian McDonald and Sara Romersberger. I kind of fell in love with all of you. See you soon!

Directing, writing, designing sound, creating props and acting? Why am I doing this?

2011-07-04T23:56:00.003-05:00

HAPPY 4TH

Tonight some guy in a blue truck yelled "Faggots!" as I was hugging a handsome, shirtless man in The Cliffs.

Uh-oh. Looks like somebody ELSE got a little turned on.

2011-06-27T11:11:00.003-05:00

ROAD TRIP

Just got back from Austin with my bestie, Charlie. I left a boy, but came back a man. A somewhat sunburnt man.

Mild to wild, baybay!

2011-06-15T11:11:00.002-05:00

ALIVE

It has recently come to my attention that adding the phrase "And I've never felt so ALIVE!" to the end of your sentences makes everything seem more exciting. "Longest tech meeting ever, and I've never felt so alive!" "I have a rash that won't go away, and I've never felt so alive!" "I totally shit my pants, AND I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!!!"

Totally works. And always situational appropriate. Always.

2011-06-11T11:11:00.004-05:00

NON-GLEE

Another special sign found on my car windshield this morning. Notice the use of the hand spelling the letter L in sign language. This is a reference to the television show Glee, which I really and truly do not care for.

But Nixon aka (Little Richard)? HOT. I'll give you those babies, thank you! And I'll be sure to make 'em triplets!!!

2011-06-02T11:11:00.002-05:00

REMY

About a decade and a half ago, I was working on a show. We had been rehearsing for over a week when the producer walked in the room and announced that a grant that they had written to undersrite the show did not come through, and therefore the show was no more. We were paid for our one week of work and sent on our way.

Feeling understandably pissed and totally over it, we decided to drown our sorrows in a late afternoon cocktail at a bar down the street. When it was my turn to order, I said "I want a drink that tastes as shitty as I feel... I'll have A Remy Martin."

The bartender had to do some digging, but sure enough they actually had some Remy Martin. And you know what? It tasted like fucking shit.

And you know what else? It was exactly what I needed.

2011-05-28T11:11:00.005-05:00

WORD SALAD

I just discovered one of life's rarest pleasures; discussing tossing salad while actually tossing a salad. And by the latter I mean mixing an actual salad. And by the former I mean talking about sex. So, talking about salad tossing sex while tossing an actual vegetable in a bowl bona fide salad? Hilarious.

2011-05-15T11:11:00.005-05:00

VAMPIRES

Did you all know there is now a Teen Paranormal Romance section in most bookstore chains these days? No, really. And, frankly, I'm looking to cash in. I could write some stupid shit for teenagers. No, really! And as far as I can tell no one has really attempted to cash in on this trend in regards to needy, horny teen boys. Fortunately, I think I have a story idea that could remedy that gaping hole in the marketplace.

The story set-up? I'd find some damn fanged teen vampire honey and have her get with me... and she could help me solve mysteries. I can foresee those kick ass titles now: Marco and Vampire Honey in the Secret Of The Old Clock! Marco and Vampire Honey in the Spider Sapphire Mystery! Marco and Vampire Honey in The Hidden Clue of the Undead Vagina!

I'd love to say the end of the series would cultimate in us banging and producing a vampire super-child, but frankly awesome teen vampire sex wouldn't be worth a fucking kid. Even of the super-child vampire variety.

2011-04-26T11:11:00.006-05:00

NIGEL LOVE

Missing my sweet kitty. Finally took down my personal MySpace page that I had originally changed out as a tribute to him after he passed, then never had the heart to change or delete.

But I did manage to screen capture it. You can view the page in it's entirety here. (Warning, it's a huge screencap. HUGE.)

I love you, Nigel. See you one day soon!

2011-04-18T23:11:00.004-05:00

STARS

I have a little place I go to. Not all of the time. I only go there when it is needed and desired. It's suprisingly remote for what should be a public hang out. When I go there in the night, when it's dark, I can almost always count on being there alone.

I bring a blanket if it's slightly cool. A citronilla candle. A cool or hot drink. I leave my shoes and phone at home.

There I can be alone with my thoughts. Free associate. Center. Breath. Assess.

I go to get away from it all. Sometimes for an hour. Sometimes less. However much I need. And the best part is that it's there. It's always there.

Bare feet, vodka on the rocks and a breezy cool night under the stars. It's bliss. And, just for that hour, it is mine.

2011-04-15T11:11:00.003-05:00

HANGIN' WITH THE HARKER

2011-04-01T11:11:00.004-05:00

PRIDE

Today I managed to eat a bowl of pizole without getting any of it on my white shirt. This is absolutely a first for me. I don't know what the fuck it is, but all I know is that if I wear white, I WILL be eating Mexican food that day. And if I eat Mexican food that day, I WILL be getting that shit all over that white shirt. But today? No drips! No spills! It was like the first time I tied my own shoelaces all by myself... last year.

Proud Mexican Moments. Yes. I'll take them where I can get them. Olé!

2011-03-24T11:11:00.004-05:00

FEELING IT

When I saw this television commercial for the first time in the early 90's, I laughed my ass off. As a result I ran around for the next couple of years randomly screaming at people "I felt SEXY!"

Yeah, good times.

2011-03-17T11:11:00.004-05:00

CASA BONITA

Yes, it's real. Yes, it's the exact same one that they sent up in Southpark. And, YES, I wanna go!!!

Take me! Take me now!!!

It's supposedly bad, I know. Like, epic bad. And the food is also epic inedible. Or, at least so I've read. But common! Pirate Caves! Food that slides onto your table via a secret panel! Cliff Divers! CLIFF DIVERS, Y'ALL!

What's not to love? (Expect for, you know, that crappy food.)

2011-03-15T11:11:00.002-05:00

MALL PYRAMUS

So, then this happened:

Just when I think I am out, they drag me right back across those footlights. (Footlights of a mall, actually. Heh-heh!)

2011-03-11T11:11:00.004-06:00

“I walk the straight lines. I walk through the summer nights. I walk the silver rope of dreams. I walk through dawns of dawns. There’s not a lot that isn’t dying. I see people parading in front of each other like insects in a killing jar, watching each other die. I walk the straight lines throught the Christ machines. Through the eyes of throwaway people. Through the wards and the shores and the cracks in the skulls of the sidewalks. Through love’s howling vacancy. I am the freedom soil. I dig my own grave. I resurrect myself every night. I am all things to myself. I walk the straight lines. I walk the spiders’s jailhouse. I walk the think line, the thin line, the white line and all the line in between. I wish I could trade in my eyes.”

~HENRY ROLLINS

2011-03-06T11:11:00.004-06:00

FACEBOOKING POWER MANTRA STATUS UPDATE DELUXE:

I plan landing fucking feet first this week and breaking out in a run, so look out. In fact, my feet might even stay bare because I am hardcore. Hell, might add a hunters knife bared between my pearly whites for added effect.

So, watch out! 'Cause I am ON MY WAY.

2011-02-22T11:11:00.003-06:00

FOUND ON MY CAR WINDSHIELD THIS MORNING

Awwwww! Someone out there is SOOO SWEEEEET!!!

2011-02-19T11:11:00.003-06:00

ROBYN

What can I say about tonight? What a unexpected, cathartic experience the Robyn concert was. It was, to be perfectly corny, a culmination of the last 8 months of my life, the soundtrack of that period, playing out on stage. And, she simply gives a phenomenal, flawless live show.

The finale of her second encore was her plaintive and intense With Every Heartbeat. At the pentacle of the song, with it's repetitive plea, "And it hurts with every heartbeat" she raised her hands above her head and formed a heart. The audience, in turn, followed suit. And the song played out in this fashion, with our hands raised until the end.

Okay, this is the part my narrative where you roll your eyes. If you've ever heard someone go on and on about how a live show emotionally changed them, it's always an eye roller for sure. If you weren't there, it's impossible to understand. Emotional? It just sounds so damn corny. But that moment where we all standing there, hearts raised over our heads? I felt like I was part of an army, a fellowship, a ensemble joined by a collective, spiritual experience. We had all suffered that pain, that soul crushing suck of love. And we all knew how it takes an eternity to move on from it. In that moment I connected with that music, every atom of me, absolutely.

"And it hurts with every heartbeat."

I will never forget that moment. Never.

2011-02-17T11:11:00.002-06:00

751

Ah, page 751. I've encountered you five times in my life thus far, and each time you stun me with Nineteen Years Later. I stop, because I don't want the immediate tale at hand to end there. I don't want to launch into that final chapter, those final wonderful, wistful seven pages. And it's usually a full two minutes before I am able to turn the page and continue.

So, I sigh. And then I turn that page.

2011-02-10T11:11:00.003-06:00

WINTER MUSINGS FROM A STRAIGHT DOUCHE

So, here in Texas it's a winter wonderland out there. Actually, it's more like an ice skating ring. The whole city pretty much shut down for almost a week as we are not equipt to deal with this much ice. We're recovered now, but amazingly I still see assholes out there dressed like it's spring. Are we supposed to think their tough and all hardcore because they don't give a shit about frostbite? This is how I imagine their inner monologues would sound like:

"Yo bra! I just ran from the snow to Starbucks wearing flips, surfer shorts and a polo shirt with the collar turned up. My 22 yr old girlfriend (works at Hooters- score!) was rockin' a baby-t, micro shorts and Uggs. We're wearing identical knit beanies to show the world we're totally bangin' each other! Can't take our heat? Get back into the cold bitches! So, like, don't call people douchebags for dressing like... total douchbags."

2011-02-08T11:11:00.003-06:00

POST HASTE

Guess who just hastily signed off on a professional e-mail by closing with "Hugs, Marco"? That would be me. Me, dammit, me!!! Gah!

Man, the next meeting I have with that dude is gonna be soooo awkward.

2011-01-29T11:11:00.005-06:00

BATH TIME WITH DEAN

This is my friend, Dean:

He lives in London and we are friends and admirers of each others photography through the photo sharing website, Flickr. He posted the black and white photo and this one in colour as an homage to a series of photos I did a few years back:

Here's one of my original bath photos:

How flattering is it that someone in London, LONDON likes my stuff?! Totally made my day.

2011-01-15T11:11:00.004-06:00

SAD BEAR

Worked late, LATE last night. Doing a job that, frankly, wasn't really supposed to be mine to do. But that's why they pay me the big bucks, right? To deal with problems when they arise. Even if these problems shouldn't be MY problems.

Last night was a really big gathering of bears. I love bears. They are my people. And, because I was unexpectedly working, I was not with those bears.

It was not a fun night. Apparently everyone was out in full force, blowing up my phone with texts asking "Where are you?" "Are you here?" "Are you coming out?"

We finally finished up work at 3am. Got a damn Wataburger. Crawled home. Ate and sulked. Slept. And I dreamed. Oh yes. Dreamed of them FINE ASS bears that I missed.

Until next time, anyway.

2011-01-08T11:11:00.003-06:00

FRIDAY

I'm spinning the new Kid Cudi album and assembling my new photography softboxes. Happy Friday!

2011-01-07T11:11:00.002-06:00

JEALOUS?

Am I a bear to be jealous of? Am I?

AM I?!?!

2010-12-23T11:11:00.002-06:00

POPSICLE TOES

Getting sick of layered clothing. Winter coats. Thick socks. And fucking shoes. Really, really sick. Fantasizing about moving somewhere where the coldest it gets is in the sixties. My body is craving the warming rays of the sun. My feet rarely make direct contact with the floor anymore as it's cold enough that wearing socks indoors has become my reality. Socks! Inside! Me! This is not making me happy. Not at all.

I may wear my flips today. Just out of spite.

2010-12-15T00:00:00.000-06:00

BIRTHDAY WISH

This is something my mother and father sent me for my last birthday. I will treasure these words. Always.

Dearest Marco, your dad and I wish you a wonderful birthday. We wish we were there to spend some time with you on this very important day in our lives. The first thing I saw after you were born was a beautiful Christmas tree in the corner of the hospital room, and my heart filled with love and pride when the nurse told me I had a son. My heart is still filled with love and pride.

We love you very much,

Mom and Dad

2010-12-05T11:11:00.003-06:00

GOATSE

The best part of waking up? Some Goatse in your cup! Let it suffice to say that I really, really, REALLY want some of these mugs.

2010-11-24T11:11:00.002-06:00

MAINE FOURSOME

I miss them already.

2010-11-17T23:11:00.002-06:00

CHECKLIST

In: robe. Feet: bare. Rain: outside. Life: good.

2010-11-12T11:11:00.005-06:00

PORN

Wow. Porn looks really weird on my huge flat screen television. My last tv wasn't this, um, big. So the new one with porn on it is a bit of an adjustment. Everything on the screen is just so brash. And large. Really, really large. Huge even. And the high definition really picks up the pores. And glistening, um, wetness.

It's all so larger-than-life. Just massive, really. Really, really massive.

Not sure how I feel about it. I think I need to do some further research. Yes. Research.

2010-11-11T11:11:00.003-06:00

GRUNTS

I'm recording myself making human-ish pig squeals and grunts, and am coughing and almost dry heaving between takes. I don't wanna vomit. But I might.

My job is fucking weird.

2010-11-05T11:11:00.001-05:00

I LIKE CONVERSING: DRUNK CHAT

Upon hearing Charlie yell something indecipherable in a bar.

ME: Weed?! Did you just yell for weed in a bar?! That not how that works, Charlie.

2010-10-25T11:11:00.000-05:00

HALLOWEEN NOSTALGIA, Pt 3

2010-10-22T11:11:00.000-05:00

THE EIGHT BEST HORROR FILMS YOU MAY HAVE NEVER SEEN: 2010 EDITION

THE CHANGELING (1980)

A pervasive air of tragedy hangs hard over Peter Medak's calculated chiller, which follows a recent widower, played with customary excellence by George C. Scott, as he moves into a historical old house. Soon, as you might expect from this sort of thing, he begins hearing things that ultimately lead him to the true past of this dark estate.

Less about jumps and kills, and more about startling images and sparse, dense sounds, what appears on the surface to be a ghost story soon becomes a who (and why) done it. It's not a perfect film. The set up seems long and oddly disjointed, as if larger chunks of the movies were hacked out. However, this is, again, horror for adults, so expect a slower, thoughtful build and pace. But be assured there are many spooky, hair on the back of your neck moments as well. And as always, George C. Scott is superb.

THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932)

This is classic horror, served up in all the familiar, yummy trappings. A monsoon in Wales sends two different groups of travelers off the muddy road and seeking shelter at the dark, looming Femm mansion, where they are (of course) reluctantly given permission to spend the night. Both Femm brother and sister have sinister pasts, and are hiding from the police. Worsening matters is their butler, Morgan (Boris Karloff, in another heavily made up gem of a character role), who gets violent when he drinks. And, of course, there in an unseen family member whom the rest live in daily terror of. It is one dark house, indeed.

Directed by James Whale one year after his classic Frankenstein, The Old Dark House failed to gain much popularity in the states, though it did well in England. The film vanished into obscurity, and was widely assumed to be lost, until it was rescued by a film historian in 1968, who also help produce it's expensive frame by frame restoration. I can't imagine it would actually frighten anyone by today's standards, but can certainly be enjoyed for it's gothic, grand, old school horror vibe. Also staring Melvyn Douglas, Charles Laughton and Gloria Stuart.

PONTYPOOL (2008)

Based on the novel by Tony Burgess, Pontypool is an all together unexpected horror creation.

In the small Ontario town of Pontypool, set specifically within the town's lone radio station, this film coasts quite astonishingly on the power of imagination.

Stephen McHattie stars as Grant Mazzy , a big city radio personality who is settling for a much smaller, less prominent gig after being kicked off the the airwaves. Lisa Houle plays Sydney Briar, his producer. Georgina Reilly is also on hand as Laurel, their assistant. Having just come in from a mounting snow storm, the trio prepares their usual morning reporting snow day closings. However, reports begin pouring in about riots and outbreaks of violence happening within the small town. Then the reports grow more explicit, describing unspeakable mass murders and group mutilations.

The films greatest strength lies in it's first half, where we, like it's three protagonists, can only sit in the radio station and listen to these calls in all of their unsettling, violent action. Let's face it; our imaginations frequently produce things far more frightening that any film can, and Pontypool plays this to the hilt, allowing viewers to only hear what's happening outside the the radio station walls. It is, indeed, un-nerving as hell.

Then the second half of the movie goes completely art house on your ass. Completely. Imagine a zombie movie in which intellectual ideas are bandied about as survival tips. Without giving too much away, I sat there wondering if the movie was as deliberately becoming as off-kilter as it's characters were, or did it just expect me to swallow these intellectual concepts whole? Let me just say this; it's no coincidence that this story plays out in a radio station, with talk show personalities as it's main characters. Make sure you watch though the end of the credits for a brief coda that hints how (and where) it's main characters ultimately wind up.

Solid direction and great performances, in addition to its sheer gaul, makes Pontypool a highly recommended offering.

DON'T LOOK NOW (1974)

If Pontypool is an arthouse take on the zombie movie, then director Nicolas Roeg certainly must be given influential credit for this surreal, modern and equally esoteric adaptation of Daphne du Maurier's classic ghost story. Horror is typically an abstract, personal concept anyway. Our personal nightmares, in all of their slow, abstract oddities, can have a profound impact on what frightens us.

Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie play John and Laura Baxter, a couple who have all-too recently lost their little girl in a tragic drowning accident, and have decided to relocate from London to Italy, so that Sutherland may direct a church restoration project firsthand. Laura encounters two sisters, one of whom is a psychic. She tells Laura that their little girl is happy and still with her and her husband. John, of course, is skeptical. But before long, he begins to sense a connection between these sisters and the seemingly random murders that are occurring in the city. Then he starts seeing the red raincoat clad figure of his child running through the streets.

Time hasn't been too kind to Don't Look Now: there are some definite negative trappings of the era that affect certain moments of the film, particularly the infamous and lengthy sex scene between Sutherland and Christie. Their grief in the beginning also rings less than true, but perhaps that part of the surreal tapestry that Roeg intended.

All in all, Don't Look Now is less of a horror film than a mystery and a thriller, though it has many, many unsettling and eerie moments. Not a perfect film, but certainly a compelling and unusual one right up to it's Grand Guignol climax. Recommended.

AUDITION (1999)

Based on a novel by Ryu Murakami, lonely widower Shigeharu (played by the always solid Ryo Ishibashi) feels he's ready to take on a new wife. His friend, who works in the film industry, decides to hold him a fake film audition, so he might browse new wife prospects. He is immediately taken by the quiet, sad nature of a young woman named Asami (Eihi Shiina, chilling chilling chilling). He asks her out on a date, then begins to court her.

We're tipped off pretty early on that something isn't quite right with Asami. And she is most definitely not the stereotypical, submissive Japanese woman she appears to be.

Audition, ladies and gentleman, is the movie that officially kicked off America's fascination with both Japanese horror, and "torture porn" as a horror genre. Director Takashi Miike, and writer Daisuke Tengan, tell this story with a slow, agonizing pace. We are given glimpses of Asami's soul, and we know what she's capable of. So there we sit in utter dread, through majority of the film, waiting for Shigeharu to find out for himself.

Find out he does, and the last 20 minutes of the movie have been frequently deemed as "agonizing". I don't usually recommend movies this explicit in their predilection for gory torture, but Audition places a far greater emphasis on the psychological over the violent. Yes, it's disturbing as hell, but certainly worth the ride. In Japanese, with English subtitles.

"Kidee, Kidee, Kidee..."

REC (2) (2009)

Director's Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza have returned with this sequel that begins moments after the first film ended. We're back in the infected apartment building, this time with a swat team equipped with helmet-mounted cameras as they go inside and attempt to gain some kind of control from within. Lead by Dr. Owen, who claims he is an official of The Ministry of Health, they soon discover he is actually a priest and there to put an end to experiments in demonology that had begun the outbreak to begin with.

Sure, REC (2) is pretty much more of the same, but who cares when the more is just as effective as the first outing? In your face attacks are what this movie does best, and the real-time cameras give the whole affair a visceral, you are there quality to the proceedings.

The movie's only real miscalculation (and it winds up being a small one), is it's brief foray into the introduction of three teen characters and their coincidentally videotaped entry into the building. Mercifully, the film doesn't stay with them for too long.

Brutal, claustrophobic and purely unnerving, REC (2) is a scary as fuck, edge of your seat, kick ass time. In Spanish, with English subtitles.

THE CHILDREN (2008)

To be honest with you, I wasn't expecting to recommend this movie. The whole Kids Who Kill genre always mind fucked me as a child, then struck me as distasteful as an adult. However, huge credit must be given to director Tom Shankland and writer Paul Andrew Williams for their utterly plausible take on the utterly implausible.

A family of five decide to spend their New Years Eve at a charming farmhouse in the English countryside. Before too long, all four children are displaying signs of fever, extreme agitation and bursts of aggression.

As one might guess, the virus making the rounds among the kids make them bizarrely violent, ultimately reducing their behaviour to twisted homicidal acts akin to what a normal child might perform on a doll or some other toy.

Many things about the way the story unfolds make for a surprisingly plausible delivery. The initial death, which looks like an accident, proves so chaotic and confusing, that the adults have no idea what's happening. Then, as things become more obvious as further mayhem unfolds, some parents believe that the children are involved, others refuse to accept the notion outright, proving the power of denial when it comes to ones own children. Some place the blame on the lone teenage girl in the family, who remains unaffected by the virus.

The films greatest strength and it's truest sense of horror is how is places you directly within the predicament of the parents involved, as they struggle with how to deal with the unthinkable situation.

Unflinching and brutal, The Children ultimately offers a pretty large slice of extremely well done What If pie. Check it out.

LAKE MUNGO (2008)

This is, by far, the best offering in this year's batch. In fact, it might be the best movie I've sat through all year. A fictional documentary that follows a family in the two years after their 16 year old daughter's death by drowning, the film uses interviews as well as photographic and some video footage to unfold the mystery behind both the girls death and the haunting of her family that follows.

This is far, far removed from the typical horror offering. It's a quiet, compelling, meditative affair that presents a family quietly unraveling and they struggle with loss, grief and making sense of their new reality.

I'm not a soft touch. I don't spook easily. Pretty much ever. But this film? Actual goose flesh. I also caught myself frequently looking over my shoulder as I watched, quite un-nerved and paranoid. Photographic evidence is presented in this film, and I actually caught myself thinking "please stop showing this to me, please stop showing this to me, please stop showing this to me..."

Written and directed by Joel Anderson, with utterly flawless performances by it's actors, faux documentaries don't get any realer than this.

What ultimately winds up transpiring in Lake Mungo is a wholly different kind of shock. When the credits rolled, I found myself filled with a deep dread and a deep sadness, as if I had glimpsed something that few people ever get to. It's powerful, my friends. And could not come more highly recommended.

This is a rare one, folks. It's currently available on Netflicks in disc form and streaming, as well as for sale inexpensively on Amazon.com. It's worth seeking out.

___________________________________________

My horror film recommendations for 2009 are here.

My horror film recommendations for 2008 are here.

2010-10-15T11:11:00.004-05:00

HALLOWEEN NOSTALGIA, Pt 2

The photos below are images are CD editions of two albums my parents had when I was growing up. Whenever I craved a Halloween buzz, I'd pull these out and look at them pretty much anytime of year. Loved the happy kick they'd give my kiddie ass.

2010-10-08T11:11:00.003-05:00

HALLOWEEN NOSTALGIA, Pt 1

I either had the costumes below, or really wish I had when I saw the other kids wearing them! Thanks to The Haunted Closet for these groovy images! Check more of them out here!

2010-10-01T11:11:00.009-05:00

LIVING

Haven't posted much lately. Been doing a lot of living, as opposed to writing I guess. What a wild, wonderful and painful summer of growth.

Photos are from the last five or so months. Whew.

On to fall I go.

2010-09-30T11:11:00.001-05:00

DRUNK DANCING
September 30th, 2010

An experiment to see how compelling I could make a shitty, grainy video taken with my iPhone come across.

2010-09-01T11:11:00.002-05:00

JEALOUS?

Well, are you? ARE YOU?

With Mister Dallas at Cheer Up Charlie's in Austin, Texas.

2010-08-25T11:11:00.000-05:00

FIRST AUSTIN ROAD TRIP

2010-08-18T11:11:00.003-05:00

'TOX'D

Confession time; I love telling people my age.

While I was sitting in a restaurant with Matt and his best girl, she asked me point blank how old I was.

39, I told her without hesitation.

Beat. Really? She asked.

Yeah, I said.

She leaned into my face a bit. Peered at my eyes. Peered at my nose. Looked at either cheek. Checked out my neck. Then she sat back. Her eyes unnarrowed.

Then, without warning, she suddenly started tapping my forehead with her french manicured nail.

"YOU GOT ANY BOTOX IN THERE???" She bellowed.

I love telling people my age. Tee-hee!

2010-08-11T11:11:00.005-05:00

THE WAIT

She waited. Others came in with minor problems. Others left, bandaged and beaming. Happy. Escaped.

Not her. No word for three hours. That can't be good, right? If there was nothing to worry about, it would have been over by now. But three hours?

The waiting was agony.

Would the news be good? Would it be the worst?

No, don't even go there. I can change this. With my prayers. With my will. I can change this. Create a new outcome. Focus!

What had her life been like before this moment? Everything seemed distant to her now: gauzy, a haze. Had there been joy before this? Was it going to be all gone - ?

No, don't even go there. I can change this. Prayers. Will. Change. New outcome. Focus.

She stood and moved towards to windows. People on the highway, driving home in the distance. Normal. Going home to their families, their lovers. Normalcy.

What had that been like again?

2010-08-04T11:11:00.008-05:00

I WANT IT PART 2

2010-07-30T11:11:00.006-05:00

2010-07-21T11:11:00.002-05:00

FOOD

Please don't ask me to have a "working lunch", or make me watch the news while I'm eating, or bring up a very heavy personal topic while we're having dinner. What kind of asshole breaks up with you over food? Who really enjoys their lunch while making hardcore, important decisions at the same time?

Asking me for a job over food? Talking about hardcore shit over food? Thanks, now every bite taste like acid to me now.

Food is my vacation, my solace, my escape. It brings me pleasure. It stirs my senses. It elevates my spirit. It's typically encompasses the very best part of my days. I want to bond with you over food. Make happy memories. Laugh. Really TASTE what I'm eating.

Spare me. Save the heavy stuff for after. Or let's work or break up over coffee. Deal? Deal.

2010-07-19T11:11:00.002-05:00

Num mundo perfeito todos andam descalços

-Paulo Brabo

I love this. Click here to see it translated.

I'm off to my vacation. Have a good one, everybody!

2010-07-07T11:11:00.004-05:00

"Sacrifice is no longer popular, but I think that sometimes it can lead to true joy. Even the simplest of unions does not come free. There is always sacrifice."
- Madeleine L'Engle

2010-06-30T11:11:00.003-05:00

DONE

What a drastic difference my workload was this month compared to this time last year.

In 2009 March/April/May/June I had directed a school tour, did sound for Don't U Luv Me?, was stage managing Peter rabbit, directed All My Sons, created an original score for The Neverending Story, and designed sound for both Shakespeare Dallas summer shows.

Suffice it to say, it nearly killed me.

In 2010 March/April/May/June I'd created and directed a new school tour, did sound for Hard 2 Spell Dad, will assist sound in another shows at Dallas Children's Theater, and design one Shakespeare Dallas summer show, and add significantly less sound to their second show. The Shakespeare productions are still total outdoor theater (see pics below), but there a certain pleasure that also accompanies the annoyances of teching in the heated Texas elements.

Over all, a much MUCH lighter load.

Hey, I'll fucking take it! (And I did. Yay!)

2010-06-23T11:11:00.001-05:00

ALL IN A MOMENT

I was recounting an early memory for a new acquaintance last week, and I sort of stunned myself in its admission; it wasn't a moment or feeling I'd ever intellectualized before, so it was a surprise to hear myself recalling it in this vivid degree of self-understanding.

It was my first day in First Grade. Like the rest of my fellow classmates, I had pulled out my Big Indian Chief writing paper as instructed by my new teacher on our first day of English Class.

I liked my school supplies. They were all shiny and new. I was eager to break them in. I opened my writing tablet to it's first clean page; each line was laid out for you with a thin bar on top, a thin bar on bottom and a dotted line running along the center between each of these bars (to make keeping a straight line, sizing your writing and practicing upper and lower case letters easier.)

"Class, follow me and copy what I write on the board" my new teacher had said. She then turned to the board and, with her chalk, drew a representation of what we were seeing on our page; thin bar on top, bottom, dotted line in the center.

I immediately imitated her, drawing the same thin top, bottom and dotted line, finishing off the last dot with a confident flourish. I had, or course, just sketched over the already existing lines on the page, but I was just following directions, right?

I looked up. My new teacher was looking right back at me. She pursed her lips and very slowly shook her head at me.

Shame flooded through every molecule of my body. The whole class was looking at me. Of course, they had not made the same mistake I had. I had already fucked up. I had already ruined my Big Indian Chief writing pad. And right then and there I gave up. I swear, I did. Just gave up school. Forever. And from that point on I tried to make myself invisible in class. Sat in the back. Never raised my hand. Never spoke. Invisible. Pretty much almost through high school.

It's amazing what forms us as children. And it's amazing what baggage we choose to carry though adulthood as a result. I eventually found my voice, but it took a very, very long time.

Who knows? Maybe my voice is a lot stronger now because of it.

2010-06-16T11:11:00.001-05:00

I PASS THIS EVERYDAY DOWN THE KATY TRAIL

2010-06-03T11:11:00.002-05:00

"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."
- John Cage

2010-05-26T11:11:00.001-05:00

NEVER

Sometimes you get reminders. About big stuff. And sometimes you get lucky that they ONLY are reminders.

Hug your people. Hug your lover. Kids. Parents. Friends. Pets. Because all in a moment they might be taken from you. Never take them for granted.

Never.

2010-05-18T11:11:00.003-05:00

LABELS LABELS LABELS

Two weeks ago I was called a "hyphenated-American", "self-hating racist", "shallow", and "very Americanized."

One week ago I was told that I was "one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen."

What a difference a week makes, right?

2010-04-27T11:11:00.003-05:00

ANOTHER WAY OF VIEWING THE TEA PARTY MOVEMENT

I've been avoiding posting political shit because it's all so relentlessly shoved down our throats these days, who needs one more blog posting it, right?

Despite that, I couldn't pass up this piece, which imagines how different our current political landscape would be if the Tea Party Movement were comprised of a group of non-whites instead. And it's absolutely mutherfucking dead on.

Read it here.

2010-04-22T11:11:00.001-05:00

RESTROOM REVOLUTION

2010-04-16T11:11:00.000-05:00

LIFE LETTERS 1

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry I didn't "get" the film Mary Poppins when you took me to see it. You had spoiled me that day, if I remember correctly; pizza and ice cream, a NEW tricycle in the trunk, and the latter alone had me squirming in anticipation to get it home and ride it. Plus, the movie had a lot of singing, and that usually just embarrassed me (not to mention Dick Van Dyke's dorky performance.)

Plus, I was six or seven years old. Yes. There's that.

What can I say? I didn't get Mary Poppins back then, but I sure do love it now. I mean, what's not to love? It has terrific songs, Julie Andrews, and those awesome chimney sweep dancers. Sorry I wasn't a cooler kid. You were an awesome mother and I was a less-than-awesome son. But I eventually got more savvy, pop culture-wise, and I certainly have you to thank for getting me started.

I love you, Mom!

Always,

Marco

2010-04-09T12:23:00.002-05:00

"My moments of being most complete, most integrated, have come either in complete solitude or when I am being part of a body made up of many people going in the same direction."

- Madeleine L'Engle, The Irrational Season

2010-03-31T11:11:00.005-05:00

PIXIE DUST

Wanna pitch woo to yours truly? Then speak Pixie, if you speak love.

2010-03-24T11:11:00.000-05:00

NAILS 1

The clipping of his toenails drove him mad.

Phil could hear it all the way in the bedroom; Jonas in the bathroom, Jonas going click click click. He was obsessed with trimming those fucking nails, which were already red, angry nubes from too much damn clipping.

Indeed, Phil hated the sight of them now.

They had just had a nice night, too. Good food. Great wine. Some serious making out was supposed to happen next. But as they got ready for bed, Jonas said "I'll be right back" and into the bathroom he went.

Click, click, click.

Phil, resigned, sat on the edge of the bed; he no longer wanted to cuddle, now he just wanted another fucking drink.

2010-03-17T11:11:00.005-05:00

NAILS 2

For Jonas it started years ago, but lately it had gotten worse.

The first time they slept together, Phil had made a crack about the length of his toe nails. "You ever cut those talons, buddy?" he'd chortled. From then on, Jonas made it a point to make sure his nails were as short as possible at all times.

He almost never went about without his socks off anymore. Whenever he did, he's catch Phil staring at his toes with a mildly distasteful look on his face. Despite this, Jonas loved Phil and that look would make his heart sink. So into the bathroom Jonas would go, to clip.

Sometimes the nails would bleed. He'd clip them anyway.

2010-03-10T11:11:00.002-06:00

"I just don't want to die without a few scars."

-Chuck Palahniuk

2010-03-03T11:11:00.001-06:00

MARCO LOVES JEANI (WITH EARCUFF)

In the early 90's, Marco learned the meaning of true heartbreak. On TV. Marco proposes his love to Jeani, whom he just met. On TV. Jeani, in turn, breaks Marco's heart in a million pieces. Did I mention this all happened on TV?

2010-02-24T11:11:00.004-06:00

AGE

I really resent the whole notion I'm supposed to feel shitty about my age. You know what? It's all programing. It's all learned behavior. First people shit on you for not being old enough, then they shit on you for not being as old than they are ("Oh! You think forties bad! You're a mere child! Wait until you hit fifty!")

Does anyone really believe this shit? I mean, really and truly believe it?

Like most of our behaviour, it's less organic to our own personal instinct and more about just doing what others have done to us. Yes, getting older can suck, with the breaking down of the body and the slowing metabolism. But why are we supposed to feel ashamed of it? Why are we supposed to try to cover it up? Can't we just focus on looking the best we possibly can for the age we are?

Personally don't give a shit if I look like I'm forty, but I AM interested in looking and feeling the best I possibly can for the age that I am.

Can I express just how much I'm NOT looking forward to my fortieth birthday, when people I usually love will undoubtedly try to make me feel like crap about it? (Even though I actually don't at all?)

But then again, it's not really them, is it? Just the shitty, shitty vicious cycle of societal programing talking. Right?

Right.

2010-02-19T11:11:00.005-06:00

SNOW, Pt 1

Snow. Took many pictures. Played. Drove and drove in the snow. Saw many snowmen. Smiled at strangers, and they smiled back. Felt crunch of snow under my boots. Cooked myself a hot dinner. Today, at least for me, was a gift. Feel like I'm eight again. Life is good.

2010-02-11T11:11:00.003-06:00

SNOW, Pt 2

Never saw so many snowmen in my life. What a glorious day it turned out to be!

2010-02-04T11:11:00.001-06:00

"Love heals scars love left."

-Henry Rollins

2010-01-28T11:11:00.008-06:00

LOST

I'm in Technical Rehearsal Number 5 (Number 8? Number 11?) I'm also currently getting a serious case of the Wonky Faints (Wronski Feints?) from the Benadryl (Benadrill?) I'm high on.

Where am I? WHO am I?

2010-01-28T11:11:00.005-06:00

BUMPS

Young Dude was already flying so fast, but just didn't know that yet. How long had they been at it? He had just looked at the clock at 12:18 AM, then what seemed like a second later he glanced at it again only to find that it was suddenly 2:03 AM.

The Old Guy had been nailing his ass, raw, for hours.

It had already been quite the night; smoking the stuff allowing him to consent to shit he had never dreamed he'd allow to be done to him before: weird, nasty, unsafe shit. A litany of "Yeah, baby do it do it do it do it!" was continuously sputtering out of his mouth. Usually, Young Dude wasn't much of a talker during sex; now he couldn't stop yakking.

"Hey, shut up" the old geezer said at last. They both stopped fucking for just that second, then burst into laughter. He felt so good he didn't wasn't even insulted by being told to shut up. Just all felt so good.

Initially, it didn't seem like he was that messed up; more like the rush of caffeine coupled with the smoothness of a few belts of whiskey. But as the hours flew by like minutes, it seemed like it was harder and harder to control any kind of impulse he was feeling. He was no longer physically erect, and hadn't been for a few hours, but it didn't matter to him anymore. Still, it was all good.

The old guy appeared to have smoked the stuff for a bit too long. His lung capacity seemed limited, and frequently burst into a deep hacking cough each time he fired up the pipe. So he had convinced to get Young Dude to do the heavy lifting instead, having him take each hit deep, deep into his lungs. Once he'd inhaled it all, the old fart would put his mouth over the young dudes and transfer the smoke back and fourth between them. Old Guy called it "shotgun". Young Dude had never heard that term before.

It was soon 3:36 AM, and he had never had this kind of pounding before. Occasionally Old Guy's sweat would drip onto Young Dude's face. Young Dude just grinned and tried to catch it with his mouth. More kissing. More fucking. Another glance at the clock showed it was already 5:41 AM; he was still getting plowed, literally, for hours at a time. Young Dude couldn't quite believe it. Where was the time going? They were only stopping to take water and piss breaks, then they'd get back to it. Young Dude felt invincible. Superhuman. And everything seemed sexual to him now; he was so high he felt like could have boned just about anything (if he could have gotten it up, which he no longer seemed capable of.)

Soon it was daylight outside. Still they kept fucking. A couple more hours rushed by. Suddenly, Old Guy dismounted Young Dude and bolted for the bathroom. "Fuck, it's already 9! My housekeepers gonna be here any minute. Help me get this shit in the wash."

The sheets were a indeed a sloppy, DNA mess. Piss and lube crusted towels were all over the place. A dozen empty water bottles lay all over the floor. Young Dude watched Old Guy run around the apartment, getting everything into the washing machine. He knew he should help but he couldn't stop jacking his flaccid member until finally his own clothes were shoved into his arms. "Stop that and get dressed. You have to go. Now."

The young guy dressed, was shoved out the door, and walked with as much control as possible into the lobby. He was beyond high now. Nearly incapacitated. The lobby spun. He struggled to find his way to his car, start it, drive the five minute trek home. His stomach was cramping, and the sheer amount of junk he had done was hitting him really, really hard now: booze, four bumps smoked, and one bump broken and shoved up his ass. He had never done this kind of hardcore shit before, and now he was feeling like he might die.

"Oh God, just get me home just get me home just get me home..."

2010-01-19T11:11:00.001-06:00

A FOODIE MUSING

Instead of the usual New Years Resolution, I've instead come up with a New Years Foodlution of things I resolve to both eat and avoid in the coming year.

I love raw veggies. So why don't I eat more of them?

Chinese Fast Food is a little slice of hell. It probably has more fat and salt than two burgers and a large side of fries. Oh, and it tastes like shit and I always regret it halfway through. Never again.

Avoid any Tex Mex entree that substitutes queso for real cheese. The first few bites are tasty, but as soon as it starts to cool it will begin to disgust you. And there you are, having to finish it, cold bite after bite.

Any place that calls/compares itself as Momma's Cooking, Mom's Home Cooking, or just called Mom's in general isn't going to taste like your mom's cooking... so run like hell.

Frozen pizza sucks. Why spurge on the calories and fat, when you can get the real thing at your local pizzeria?

Whataburger seems to have downgraded that beef. Last several times I've had it, it's not been that great. Sadly, it used to be my fast food standby too. But no more. Again, why have something sub par when you can have something fresh and totally worth it? I encourage you to check out Yelp and find some great original, non-chain burger joints in your area and give 'em your business.

Pay extra for a high quality ice cream with as little additives as possible. Again, why have crap if you can get something so much better for not much more?

Why eat cheap chocolate, when high quality chocolates with high cocoa counts are pretty much available any where these days? Sure it can cost double or triple the cost of a regular Hersey's bar, but for the quality it's (again) totally worth it.

Orville Redenbacker's Smart Pop Butter is a fine substitution for chips, and actually much healthier for you too. 98% of the time this handles my chip hankering just fine.

On a last note, I've found that a healthy-ish, sweet, low fat, low sugar cereal is frequently a good way to curb desert hankerings... most of the time. A bowl of bran cereal as desert each night before bed has made me a new man. Really!

Food for thought, I guess.

2010-01-15T11:11:00.005-06:00

STAYCATION

Spent a single, whole day doing nothing but laying around, watching Dollhouse episodes and some Jason Statham. I never, ever get to do this. It was the first time since Thanksgiving week that I had a single, whole, uninterrupted day to just. Do. Nothing.

And you know what? It was beyond awesome. Stayed in my bathrobe all day. Little vodka. Little beefcake. Allright.

Two shows I'm working on open this Friday. I think I'm gonna be doing it again that weekend. Yeah. Staycation.

Yeah...

2010-01-06T11:11:00.001-06:00

DOOBIE

A number of years ago I closed a show that did well, and was well-received. It was a good time, and we celebrated the final night by carousing in a bar until we began to leave, one by one. I was the last wave to leave, and as I sat in my car I was fairly rattled by the sound of someone rapping on my drivers side glass window.

It was a cast member of the show. Laughing at my own startlement, I rolled down the window and greeted him. "A show of appreciation." he said very quickly, thrusting something small into my hand and quickly bee-lining back to his car.

I opened my palm and saw the had placed a small joint there. I burst out laughing. It was a fitting end to a wild ride. I slipped it into my work bag and drove home.

Hey, I'm in the arts and with that territory comes substance use. I've done an average amount of experimenting, and found that I'm not much of a pot guy. I know a lot, a LOT of people who enjoy the stuff, but it's never been my bag; I don't like the gauzy, stunted feeling it gives me, nor do I like the length of time it takes for that stoned cloud to lift. Vodka is more my speed. But I digress.

When I got home, I stuck the joint in a sandwich-sized Ziploc bag and stashed in my catch-all kitchen cabinet. A month or two passed, and I suddenly remembered that I still had the stuff. One of my dearest friends was hanging out at my place that day, and I knows he likes him some ganja, so I offered to give it to him.

He was more than willing to take the doobie off my hands, so I headed to that kitchen cabinet to give it to him... only to find it was gone. No joint, no sandwich baggie, nothing. Gone.

I gave Bean a call. At work.

"Uh, Bean... there was a, um, blunt in the kitchen cabinet, but, um... I can't find it.

"Oh. Really?"

"Did you... did you smoke it?"

"Noooooooo..."

"Did you move it?"

"No."

"Oh."

"So... are you telling me we have a stash in our house AND WE DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Oh. Well, good luck with that."

He hung up. I burst into giggles, turning to my friend.

"Guess we have to look for it."

Ten minutes later it was finally found. Bean had seen the bag in the kitchen cabinet, mistook it for being empty, and put it back with the other sandwich baggies in the pantry. I got the stash out of the house, my friend got his promised doobie, and all was well with the world.

Doobie Doobie Doo!